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November 12th, 2006
11:49 am
Remember those posters that said, today is the first day of the rest of your life? Well that's true with every day except one, the day you die.
Yet there are some days where it’s even more true. Like today. It should have happened last week, but I was so busy I didn’t have time to think, let alone reflect.
And now I’m here. All that’s left is to hand in my books (of which I have a sports bag full), and I’m no longer a student of Murwillumbah High School.
It’s not just the school. It’s the fact that I’m no longer a child, confined to a routine, supported by a framework that has existed since around age 4.
It feels like it’s just the holidays, but it’s not. I’m never going back. I’m going onwards, upwards maybe, but never back. Which is indefinably scary and exciting, but I’m going to try.
There’s so much to say about what’s come before. Having it come to a premature- and it does feel premature- end has made me so acutely aware of just how good it’s been. I know every older person says this, and every younger person laughs at it, but school is great. The whole experience is great. The people are unbeatable.
Then you move on, and you forget about them, and you find something else that’s great… but I hope I won’t.
This past year, and even more so in the last term, I’ve moved outside my ‘normal’ social groups and met so many new people. And now I have so many regrets. Regrets that I never met these people before, that I never spent time with them and got to know them, because I didn’t think they were ‘my’ kind of people. The fact is that everybody who has a story is my kind of person. And everybody has a story.
Just through helping to organize the formal I started to get to know a group of fun, exciting and interesting people who I normally wouldn’t have that much to do with. Then, just like that, it was all over and I realized that they’ve always been there, and I just never saw them.
Then there are my friends who I’ve always known, yet I never really got to know. The ones I took for granted and the ones I was happy where I was with. All of them deserved better.
This goes for everybody. The people in younger years who have become some of my closest companions, the people in my year who I’ve been with for years yet somehow drifted apart with, the people who have left and who I’ve always wanted to see again but never had the chance to.
People come into our lives, and then they leave, and both people are changed by the experience. This is one of the oldest stories in existence. It’s also one of the saddest.
Every friendship is, in the end, a tragedy. Not because of fights, or misconceptions, or the inevitable ‘will they/won’t they?’ All of that stuff is, to me, insignificant. It’s the grander tragedy, the one that takes a year, five years, ten years, a lifetime.
You meet each other. You get to know each other. You build up, peak, plateau, and then, slowly, you drift apart.
It’s not intentional. That’s why it’s called drifting. Like the continents- it’s slow and completely unstoppable.
Of course, it doesn’t have to happen soon. You could be friends for a lifetime. But still, one of you will die before the other, and then you’re back where you started.
People say that friendships are better than relationships because relationships are transient joys, they’re brilliant and fast. Flares of love. Whereas friendships can last forever.
Yet how many times have we heard, ‘We’re not as good friends as we used to be…’ ‘Why don’t we talk any more…’
Relationships just end with a louder bang.
This is all a little sad, and to everybody, no, this doesn’t mean I’m mourning the end of our friendships. It just means that the end of school has made me aware that the slow drifting may happen someday, and that day could be… it would be punchy to have an exact date right here, but let’s just say the first day of uni next year.
More than anything, I just wish I’d gotten to know everyone better, because I know I’ll never have another chance like all the ones I just missed.
Our choices bring me to where we are now, and I’m happy with my life right now. I think I’ve done well, I have friends, family, love… and if I’d gotten to know one person better I might have missed out on someone else.
But if I was offered the opportunity to do everything again, it would be a hard decision.
Then there’s the other big issue. I have months to do whatever I like, and yet I don’t have any plans, any projects. Sure, relax and enjoy yourself, but I feel like I have the chance here to do something, and I want to… do something. I want some transcendental experience, something new, something exciting. But I don’t know what and I’m afraid it will just slip away.
More on that later, I guess. For now, to those of you who got through this, thankyou. To everyone who I’ve ever known, thank you for getting to know me, and I wish I’d spent more time with every single one of you.
‘We’ll stay in touch.’ That’s what everybody says. And it’ll be months before that even becomes an issue. I’m just… hoping that won’t be an empty promise, and hoping it won’t be my fault if it is.
I miss everything and everyone already.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood:  listless
Current Music: Pearl Jam- World Wide Suicide
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August 31st, 2006
09:57 pm - IT'S OVER!
By 'it' I mean HSC Drama.
It went well (go to hell... sorry... random Rent rhyme), according to Fieldy, so I'm happy. I was actually really satisfied with how I went which is rare for me. Although you never really know with the HSC. Especially in subjective subjects like this.
Unfortunately I have not had a chance to go out and celebrate that OR ext 2 OR trials, although I might on Saturday.
Only one assessment left and that's all, except for the HSC. Which leads to the other obvious problem, which I believe affects the whole state.
When your school tells you that you're all done, you've finished your final exams and assessments, and you're only revising in class, how the hell do you keep focus and motivation?
I'm sure this has plagued, and will plague, millions both before and after me. But in the spirit of self-interest, I only really care about it now.
Oh, and PS, you guys should actually make a more concerted attempt on my 15 things, cos I thought it was pretty cool.
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August 28th, 2006
08:23 am - The toenails, on the other hand, never grow at all.
I thought of something really great last night, but then I forgot it.
Trials are over! Thank all the various gods, I think there's about seventy-odd these days. I felt surprisingly good about all of them. And then there was Extension Maths.
The thing is that normally when you go into an exam and you 'can't do it,' this isn't a literal statement. You might look at a question and go 'ha, I should know that, but I didn't study enough and so I can't quite recall the formula.' So technically you 'can't do it,' but you still have a shot, and you end up writing the formula wrong, but it still looks okay.
Then you have questions where you think, 'I know all the formulas and I cannot see any conceivable way to answer this question.' You can't write anything because you don't know where to start.
The best/worst part is that it wasn't just me... apparently Michael and Grace couldn't do half the paper, and Richie (who does Extension 2!) was still writing when time ran out.
On a happier note, I went up to Bond University in the Gold Coast this weekend, cos I made it to the final round of their scholarships program. It was great because there was only about 2 hours worth of actual 'assessment,' like interviews etc, over the whole time, and for the rest of the time we just moseyed around Bond and abused our free access to their facilities.
The current students were great, they were allowed to tell us that there IS wild partying there, and it's not just all work. They organised all sorts of things for us, like a supposedly Greek-themed dinner where we had burgers, a treasure hunt involving kicking footballs around the uni, and a whole bunch of sport stuff.
Tomorrow is HSC Drama. People say drama is a bludge. It's not. Don't listen to anyone who says that. It may seem like it in year 11 but by year 12 you have to work a hell of a lot. And by tomorrow it will all be over... by 'all' I of course mean '60%.'
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August 24th, 2006
08:50 pm - taken... from... THE VOID
1. Post a list of 15 books/movies/TV shows that you've had a massive love of at some time in your life.
2. Have your friends guess your favorite character from each one.
3. You can cross out the show/movie/book and put the character when someone guesses.
A. Star Wars
B. 24 - Jack Bauer
C. Scarecrow - Knight
D. Reservoir Dogs
E. Rent - Collins
F. Boston Legal
G. Stargate SG-1
H. Garth Merenghi's Darkplace
I. Smallville
J. Axis Trilogy/Wayfarer Redemption
K. Alias - Marshall
L. Coupling
M. Scrubs - Dr. Cox
N. Doctor Who - Ninth Doctor
O. Battlestar Galactica
Current Location: home
Current Mood:  busy
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June 6th, 2006
07:07 pm - Play some freakin' Journey!
God I love Journey. They redefine the term 'old-skool.' Thankyou firstly for Scrubs for the introduction, and Shashi for the reminder.
In other news I got the Half-Life 2 expansion, with the ingenious title of Episode One. Brilliant stuff so far, of course. Unfortunately I seem to have almost it and I only played it for about 2 hours so far.
My HSC group drama is proceeding apace, which is a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately it is now time for the scene starring me, so I actually have to write something, and make it damn good, or else not only will I look stupid, but so will my two groupmates and they will kill me.
The social is on tomorrow. I have the oddest feeling I've already written about this somewhere. Weird. Oh that's right, it was in an email. Anyway, I'm going as Scooby Doo, and that involves wearing something orange or brown, neither of which I actually have.
We started Ted Hughes' Birthday Letters in English this week. Stay tuned for a rambling diatribe on why poetry is the true Antichrist, and how today's Apocalypse (060606 etc) was not marked by hellfire and torment as we all expected, but instead by a reading of Fulbright Scholars. Trust me, it was far worse.
Word of the Day: Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia (fear of the number 666)
Current Location: Home (duh)
Current Music: Small Town Girl- Journey
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May 29th, 2006
05:28 pm - Relevancy
Last night I watched Answered By Fire. It's a fictionalised version of Australia's UN involvement in East Timor's attempt to break away from Indonesia, and it was filmed around here, which is cool to begin with. Other than that, it was just a bloody good Australian production. But the most important part is how dangerously relevant it is. With events flaring up in Indonesia again, Australia has sent a new bunch of troops in there to 'restore order,' and just as they set foot on the ground our public broadcaster hits the country with this.
I think it's awesome. For some reason I had to share.
In other news... I don't really have that much other news. Today was the most delightful of my two week cycle, due to a phenomenom I like to call 'double english and triple maths.' However I managed to get out of two periods selling drinks for Amnesty. I know, it's astounding, I've gone for years without doing anything even remotely connected to Amnesty and then I end up making them 50 bucks with no fanfare whatsoever. Although don't start judging me and saying I'm charitable. I did it to get out of one period of English and one period of Maths. So that was all good.
Oh. I have tickets to Pearl Jam. Goodo.
Current Mood:  tired
Current Music: Rest In Peace- James Marsters
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May 24th, 2006
06:54 am
Hmm. Haven't been here for a while.
I have a drama essay to do which is bad even on the scale of drama essays, which are universally more difficult than english essays, and yesterday I got mildly rejected. Not a good time for Pierce.
In other news, everyone seems to be turning 18 right about now, leading many to wonder what it is about the month of August that leads adults to make the babies at that precise time. Perhaps it's cold.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood:  crappy
Current Music: Yellowcard- Holly Wood Died
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March 24th, 2006
06:27 pm
List 6 tv shows:
1. 24
2. Doctor Who
3. Black Books
4. Lost
5. The Office
6. Scrubs
1. Who is your favorite character from #2?
I'm going to go with Doctor Who. Namely the Third and Ninth Doctors, because Jon Pertwee and his 'twiddle de dee' was so amusing, and Chris Eccleston is just an awesome guy. Although Tennant could top him.
2. Who is your least favourite character from #4?
Hm. Tough with an ensemble like this. Favourites are easy, and the ones I didn't like are dead. I didn't like Boone. Other than that... Walt I guess because he was annoying and snotty.
3. What would a crossover between #1 and #5 include?
A terrorist threat would be reported in the Office. Jack would come in and start a complete lockdown, leading to many avoiding-work jokes. Gareth would try to help them, but Jack would end up killing him because he was a spy. Chloe and Tim would hook up, Jack would brutally torture and interrogate David Brent, and end up killing Finchy, the true mastermind, in a showdown in the paper warehouse.
4. Who is your favorite ship from #6?
JD/Elliot. Obviously.
5. If you were to set one person from #3 and one person from #6 on a blind date, who would they be?
Bernard and Dr. Cox... I think by virtue of his sheer insane Irishness, Bernard Black might end up the first person to leave Cox broken and speechless.
6. If you could meet one person from #4 and spend the day with them, who would it be, and what would you do?
Charlie Pace, and he would do my composition assignment for me!
7. If you could change one thing about #2's plotline, what would you change?
The Doctor wouldn't have had to regenerate at the end of season one!
8. If the lead title characters (first name in the credits) from #1 and #3 were both drowning, and you could only save one, who would it be?
Bernard would probably be drowning in a very shallow puddle because he was blind drunk. By the time I'd have saved Bernard, Jack Bauer would already have saved himself, shot the hell out of the puddle, tortured its friends and destroyed its base. He doesn't need my help.
9. If you could change the title characters' order in the credits for #4, what order would you choose?
Gosh... there's so many and alphabetical works so well. I might put 'With Terry O'Quinn as Locke' at the end because he's awesome.
10. If you were able to add a new character, any kind of character you wanted, to the storyline for #6, what would the character be like and what would their role be?
Ewan McGregor would guest star as a visiting Scottish doctor who wins all the ladies and infuriates JD because he's better than him. JD finds an unlikely ally in Cox, who hates the fact that Ewan's beard is better than his, and they have a beard-off. Cox wins but Ewan teaches them all a valuable lesson. I'm not sure what it is.
11. What happens in your favorite episode of show #2?
I'd have to say 'The End of the World'... the various races of the galaxy gather 5 billion years in the future to watch the sun expand and destroy the earth. Cassandra O'Brien, a large piece of skin with a mouth and eyes, tries to take the station hostage, but the Doctor stops her. Of course.
12. If you could kill off one of the characters of #1, who would it be and how would you do it?
Most of them are dead already. President Logan would finally realise he's a dickhead and would sacrifice his life to save Jack's.
13. If you got the chance to visit the set for either show #3 or show #5, which would you choose?
They're both notably boring. Probably Black Books because weird things always happen to that shop set.
14. If you could date anyone from any of these shows, which show and which person?
Rose from Doctor Who. Although it's a very tough decision, I couldn't possibly date a girl who's had sex with Ben Affleck.
In other news, it's my birthday tomorrow! Woo. And I have invites from two different groups of people to do the same thing. Strange.
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February 3rd, 2006
07:40 pm - Journalists have no ethics. Discuss
I leave, I come back, and suddenly Brendan Nelson is Minister for Defense.
And this is the least of our problems.
So. I went away in the holidays. Firstly to NIDA, which I believe I told most of you about. It was for an acting course like the last one, except different. My tutor was Wil Traval, apparently off All Saints, which I have never watched but now will religiously.
Then I went to Canada. Which was, of course, wildly good. You were all quite right to be jealous. We're talking phrases like 'the best snow in 6 years.' And plates of spare ribs, which as I have discovered aren't just in those movies about American surbubia, people actually cool them, and they taste great.
I got new skis. They're twin tips which is apparently good, I didn't get much of a chance to do tricks and stuff, too many moguls and trees. But I like moguls and trees too.
And now I have come back and rejoined year 12. Everyone talks about 'starting year 12' but the fact is we started term 4 last year and have already done a bunch of assignments counting towards our HSC. Anyway, Year 12... it sounds big but at the end of Week 1 it's actually going really well. Except I have to decide between doing Lions Youth of the Year and Model United Nations Assembly, both of which sound like a whole bunch of fun. I want to be Iran and abuse everybody.
On a slightly unrelated note, I discovered some awesome television in Canada. Namely the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report. If they ever come on over here, or if you have download capabilities, WATCH THEM. You will not regret it. PS: Colbert is joking. All the time.
Oh. And there was an election while I was over there, and the Liberals were kicked out (apparently because they were corrupt) and the Conservatives were elected as a minority. The advertising campaigns over there are really nasty. So now America, Australia and Canada all have right-wing governments. At least Canada has the good grace to call themselves Conservative. But I digress.
Anyway, I think I've saved my journal from Total Annihilation for the next few months. I might actually update a little more regularly. Don't hold your breath, you'll probably die.
P.S. What does 'recumbent' mean?
Current Mood:  recumbent
Current Music: Ted Leo & The Pharmacists- The High Party
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October 19th, 2005
09:07 pm - Sydney and silliness
So. Recently I went down to Sydney for the Celebration Concert. Had an absolutely brilliant time, longer update coming up soon. The short version: saw the freakshow that is Sydney, sang in the choir, sang a choir, met a few cool people. Great stuff.
Now to some ridiculous whatsits I’ve noticed lately. You all should know the song ‘Mad World,’ originally by Tears for Fears. A cover by Gary Jules was in Donnie Darko, and that version was also used in an ABC ad for their news service. And now Nine is using a female solo/children’s choir version of it for an ad. A news ad. What the hell, people, get some originality. Not to mention the ABC should be suing. Nine has a lot of money if a portion just went over to the ABC that would be great.
Other thing. Remember that Software exam? The one that was completely stupid and that I didn’t know any of the answers?
I got 75%.
Seventy-five. Three quarters.
And that question about logical constants? Where I wrote the actual wrong answer, and when he showed us the answers it was the complete opposite of what you were meant to write?
Three out of three marks.
What the hell.
Not to mention we discovered the Unreal Tournament 2004 demo on the computers in the Software room, so now I have a reason to keep going to that class. Weird stuff.
Okay, that’s all. Longer Sydney update coming soon.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Won't Get Fooled Again- The Who
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